Coffee Grounds and Rats
by slow as christmas
Summary: He leaned in to suck the spot that he had just touched with his hand only to have a palm smashed roughly against his forehead. "Kiss me now and I'll bite your tongue off."- There's a plot...hopefully. Review and Crits very welcome.
1. To Fake a Smile

Blue eyes locked on the brown for a split second before they crushed their lips together, a soft moan escaping the woman's mouth as teeth poked out to grasp at her bottom lip. The group in the hub stared at them, blinking several times and then all three heads whip around to where the tall Welshman is standing with a tray of coffee cups. He smiles at them then turns back to the groping couple at the door, tilting his head slightly before setting the tray down near a work station.

An Asian woman places her hand on his shoulder where the vest meets his white shirt, "Ianto," she begins but he cuts her off with a hand over the top of hers, giving it a reassuring pat.

"It's fine." He whispers and the other occupants know it's more to himself than to them.

The dark headed woman clears her throat roughly, "Jack, if you're quite done," there's an edge to her voice that makes the others cringe, they've all been on the receiving end of _that _voice and it's not pretty.

The man that was sucking the air from the woman smiles and pulls away, ghosting a hand over her chest before letting it rest on her backside, "I'll see Miss Durham to her car now."

The man wearing a medics coat nearly growled, "don't you mean you'll shag her in her car now."

"I won't object to a little backseat sex." Jack's blue eyes sparkled at the woman, not even sparing a glance back at his team as the door rolled shut.

"That good for nothing jackass. That's what he is!" Gwen heaved as soon as he was gone, "that'll be his new nickname, Jackass, it fits if you ask me."

Ianto smirked and offered her a cup, "you'll most likely need this to make it through the night."

"Ianto," she gave him a sad look, "I'm sorry that he-"

"Doesn't matter," he shook his head, "he's Jack."

"But - aren't you two…" Tosh left her sentence unfinished but gestured with her hands and they all looked at her blinking.

He smiled brightly, his usual welcoming look, "I am an employee of torchwood. I make coffee. I've done my part," he pressed a cup to her palm, "now, I believe Jack would want you to do yours."

"The hell if I'm going to do what he wants." Owen piped up, crossing his arms and refusing the cup that the Welshman offered him, "I don't care if you're just his part time shag or not, that was just rude! I'm not normally the one to take the moral high ground here but -"

"Owen," Gwen's voice was low and her eyes clearly pleaded with him to shut up.

It was then that he glanced up at the man to see his normal smile sliding to a frown and his bright eyes dim and half closed as he looked down at the cup in his hands. "Hey, mate, I didn't mean to -"

Ianto took a deep breath and his mask was back in place, "your coffee." He offered and this time, the man took it into his hands with a sad nod. "Now, if you all will excuse me, I've had enough of being the topic of conversation and there's a vermin problem I must address."

Three hours later, Gwen found Ianto in the archives, storing away some paperwork and she patted him on the shoulder, "how you keeping up?"

"Well, the last week's been rather hectic and being out on more field missions limited the time I've had to document things. I'm a little behind but nothing a missed night of sleep won't fix." He smiled and she knew it was fake.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

He smiled again and it made Gwen sick to see it, so many times he had given her that smile and yet only now was she seeing through it, "It doesn't bother me as much as it probably should. Jack must be rubbing off on me." He let out a low chuckle but it sounded bitter.

"It's ok to be hurt," she whispered softly, "and angry."

"It's not the first time, you know," he turned back to his filing, cursing at the sudden loss of concentration before going through a long list he kept in his mind, "it happens more often than any of you know. Days where he just gets an itch and then I get a rest." He smiled at her again and Gwen noted that she was becoming slightly irritated by it. "I told you all before," this time his blue eyes glared at a camera in the corner of the archives, "I'm fine."

But they all, Ianto included, knew he wasn't fine. He had felt the twinge of pain stab his heart, even though he knew Jack would say "it's just sex" but it wasn't just that to the Welshman, and often, it was exactly just that to Jack. And they both knew it. It was naïve for him to think that for a mere few seconds Jack even pondered the deep love that Ianto had for him. Jack had lived too many years to deny love from anyone; his partner didn't want to hear the word love fall from perfect lips, because then it lumped him in a category with everyone else. All the past loves, all the past hopes, all the future mates… but he didn't want to be a fleeting emotion.

He sighed, and pushed the box of papers back into its spot, "I'm going shopping for some mouse traps, would you like anything while I'm out?" She shook her head, watching as he smiled and retreated from the room.


	2. To Catch A Rat

It wasn't until two that morning that Jack stumbled into the hub, his cheeks flushed, a silly grin on his face as he leaned against the door frame. "Ianto," he called a little gruffly and chuckled at himself.

He had expected the welsh to pop up from the hole leading to Jack's room but was caught a little off guard when a sleepy voice called to him from the couch. He turned, eyeing the man warily as his blue eyes blinked the fuzz away only to close again in defeat; Jack sighed, then a frown tugging at his lips as he looked at the sleeping man. He was shirtless, curled beneath a thick blanket because the captain knew from experience he was always burning up when he laid down but freezing by morning. He tiptoed to the couch, running his fingertips along the exposed neck and Ianto half growled, "you smell like cheap perfume."

His eyes didn't open and his voice was gravely from being asleep and most likely part of him still was asleep. It made a shiver run down Jack's spine and puddle in his groin, he leaned in to suck the spot that he had just touched with his hand only to have a palm smashed roughly against his forehead. "Kiss me now and I'll bite your tongue off."

"Kinky," Jack purred and leaned against the palm, swiping his tongue out at the wrist.

Ianto shoved his hand hard against Jack's forehead, hard enough to bruise, "Back off." his eyes were open now, and they were burning at him with anger and hurt.

Blue eyes rolled as he smoothed over the reddening spot between his eyes, "shit Ianto, go take a Midol and soak in the bath." He stood and stomped to his room, making sure to slam the office door on his way.

The Welshman felt a lump in his throat but swallowed it down, his mind going over the list of things to do tomorrow to keep away the thought of how much Jack had just hurt him. Two hours later, he sighed and gave up the battle for sleep; deciding he needed to get an early start on cleaning the hub, there was a smell somewhere in the lower part and if it wasn't handled now it would only get worse. Probably a dead rat from the traps he had bought earlier that day, he grimaced and pressed a hand over his stomach as it lurched, no breakfast this morning.

At six, he started the morning coffee, avoiding Jack completely until the others came in for the morning meeting. "Your coffee, sir." he looked at the man's hand noting the slightly healing bite between the digits and he felt his stomach do another churn and before he could hear the usual thank you, he turned his back and offered the coffee to everyone else. He could feel Jack blinking at him, staring at him like he had just grown a third arm. Owen smiled approvingly and nodded at Ianto, Tosh patted his hand and Gwen had a little smirk on her mouth before they all turned, glaring daggers at their fearless leader.

"Ok," he began slowly, "I think I might have missed something yesterday."

"What do you want us to do today, Jack?" Gwen sipped her coffee, her tone icy.

"Or are you going to go shag the bag lady." Owen said under his breath.

Jack's anger was evident on his face as he stood quickly, but before he could say anything Ianto stepped beside him, placing a hand on his arm and the captains shock smothered his anger completely, "I took the liberty of getting sticky biscuits for everyone. Please, stuff yourself." The others clearly understood the meaning and when offered the plate, smiled or nodded apologetically.

The rest of the meeting went by in a boring confused haze, no one giving funny little quips or even rolling their eyes when Jack said something witty; instead, they received their to do lists and left without much of a word. The 'American' leaned back in his chair, watching them all go, uncertainty in his posture; he was starting to wondering if an alien had attacked and left them all with a slight case of PMS. A scratching in the wall off to his right made him call out in annoyance, "Ianto! I thought you took care of those rats!"

"Still working on it, sir!" he called from somewhere deep in the hub and his voice was muffled by something, he assumed it to be a mask to keep away the dust.

"Well hurry up! It's not sanitary!" His voice was harsher than he intended but he was upset that his good shag mood had been ruined by a moody Ianto and even more upset that his entire team seemed pissed at him for something.

There was no response and he sighed, retreating to his office to make phone calls and type letters. Every now and again he was catch a glare from either Owen or Gwen and he would glare right back, it wasn't until his coffee cup ran empty that he spoke, "where the hell is Ianto."

Gwen blinked at her own empty cup, "still in the walls."

They all looked up then, glancing between them to see who was supposed to get the coffee now. In the years they had been together, no one had to refill their cup on their own and it seemed more than a little odd. Owen finally sighed and raised a hand, "he tried to teach me how to use it so I'll give it a shot."

Three broken cups later, Jack pushed the medic away from the coffee machine, "Ianto!" he received no answer and sighed, most likely he was too deep in the hub to hear his voice so he nodded at Tosh who looked at her screen and tapped at the keyboard.

She shook her head, "no, apparently he's not wearing an ear piece."

"Why exactly not?" Jack was clearly angry at that information and clenched his fists, "what if there was an emergency?"

"His headset is missing." Gwen spoke quietly from the workspace that was Ianto's desk, "and I think he had it on this morning at the meeting."

There was a pregnant pause and silence aside from the tapping of keys and the slight scratch in the walls that they had all become accustomed to since the heavy rain that drove the rats into the hub. Tosh cleared her throat, "It's not online."

"What does that mean? He turned it off?" Jack hissed at her.

"No, it means…" she fidgeted and then turned to him, "there's a tracking device in each com just in case it gets lost - it's tiny and the chances of it being destroyed, even if it was completely squashed is next to impossible."

"Tosh," The captain crossed his arms and his voice clearly told her to get to the point.

"Yes well, it's gone."

Owen blinked, "what do you mean gone?"

She raised both hands, "it's like it completely vanished."

Jack's mind suddenly went into panic mode, "Ianto!" He took off down a hallway, "Tosh, do a heat scan of the entire hub. Gwen follow me, Owen get your medical kit and a rift scanner."

"I've got the scanner!" called Gwen as she jumped over the railing to trail after their leader, Owen was soon behind her with a hefty container.

Tosh beeped on Jack's earpiece, "the only heat signatures are us and a few rats scurrying around the walls."

"Can you trace the camera's and see where Ianto went last?"

"He crawled into the wall in sector F and that's where we lose visual. But," she paused, "I can look back on the readings of heat signatures and see where he went after - Oh."

"Oh?" Owen ground the word out, urging her on with impatience.

"Well… he disappeared."

They all three immediately stopped, "What do you mean," Gwen said slowly.

"You keep asking me that," she said clearly worried and her irritation and helplessness was showing, "I'm not speaking a different language. One minute his heat signature is there and then it's not."

"Was there a rift spike?" Now, Gwen, Owen and Jack were all standing at the opening to the wall in sector F, Gwen was ticking at the rift indicator and shook her head. "nothing."

Tosh piped in, "About thirty minutes ago there was a tiny spike at the … at the tourists center."

"That wouldn't have affected Ianto down here." Owen was curious and stumped.

"Gwen, Owen, go take a look." Both nodded, "Tosh, how big was it? Enough for something to slip through?"

"Hardly." she sighed loudly, "it's the reason the alarms didn't pick anything up. It wasn't even fully formed."

Owen and Gwen tapped in from where they had all put sprinted to the office, "nothing here Jack, just as Tosh said, it wasn't even big enough to leave a notable signature."

There was another long pause before Owen said in a low voice, "is it possible that he's…that maybe he's slipped back into old habits?"

"What are you implying?" Jack's voice was steely and a clear warning came in an almost growl.

"Everyone's thinking it," he said again, slower, "I'm just the one saying it. He fooled us once and hid a cyber woman in the basement. And now when he's upset at Jack he disappears… are we sure this wasn't planned?"

Tosh's voice rang out clear over the connection, "Shut up. Right now." everyone stiffened at the anger there, they hadn't heard her speak so harshly before, "you won't say that about Ianto. He's our friend and has more than once risked his life to save all of us. How could you even think that? He didn't do this just to get back at Jack, something took him and you are a jerk for saying that Owen Harper."

Another long silence followed by a soft whisper of apology laced with guilt. Jack sighed, "everyone back to the boardroom. It's lunch and we need to think rationally, just calm down."

One hour missing….

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Author Notes:

I'd like to say that I would greatly enjoy critique. I'm not a writer and I'm not up on all the british sayings/surroundings and whatnot so I would jump at the chance for critique.

Also, if someone is out of character please tell me and I'll try my best to fix it. Really, I'm not at all offended by such things. I'd like to thank those that added my story to their alerts/favorites and my one little reviewer. Love to you.


	3. To Feel Guilty

Sixteen hours missing….

Jack punched the wall in his room, the scurrying of rats on the other side becoming a normal sound, like the weevils growling in the cells or the soft tap of Tosh's keyboard. They had gone through every possible explanation, the spike in the rift hadn't been enough to take someone… at least not all of them; he cringed at the thought and quickly pushed it aside. He grabbed a cup of coffee and then spit it back in the cup, it tasted like acid and moldy vegetables.

Somehow they had all forgotten how to make coffee, or either the coffee just didn't taste like coffee without Ianto making it. There was no trace of the man, they had gone to his flat and said it looked classy and modern and Jack only grimaced because he knew it was Lisa who had insisted on the modern. Ianto had told him on more than one occasion that while he enjoyed the cleanliness he would much rather have a traditional style to it all. The captain hissed and fell to his bed, groaning as his muscles relaxed for the first time since that morning, he hadn't realized he was so tense. Normally, around this time, Ianto would give him a cup of tea and a backrub as well as a little more to 'tire him out'.

Now, in the early morning hours, he was reminded exactly how cold his bed was, how empty the hub sounded, how musty it smelled without the aroma of coffee; it prickled the back of his eyes and he cursed himself. What had been the last thing he said to Ianto anyway? Something about cleaning up after the rats, or was it something about coffee? He couldn't remember, and that hurt him even more than he chose to acknowledge.

A soft nock on his desk had Jack jumping from the bed and clambering his way up to his office, once there, he was greeted with a haggard and very tired looking Tosh; the invisible lift was also coming down with Gwen and Owen. Jack noted that no one had used the tourists entrance since Ianto was first discovered missing. "You just standing there looking pretty for me, Tosh?" He attempted his normal toothy smile but it failed, she didn't seem to notice and she didn't even try to smile for him.

"There's nothing." she whispered softly, her hand rubbing at her elbow, "what if…" her voice trailed off not wanting to give up on her dear friend and yet, not having any leads left them at a dead end, again.

"Don't even think it." He again attempted a smile and was pleased when he pulled it off half way before it fell into a slight scowl, "we won't give up on him. He wouldn't give up on us."

Owen entered the conversation then, "just don't see how it happened in our own house. It's like something just came in, snatched him, then was gone before we even noticed."

A long silence fell over them and it was as though the guilt of before was settling on them; they had ignored him, taken him for granted…again. They had all just assumed he would be there, Jack most of all and now, he just wasn't there. "I think you should all go home and rest." Jack spoke softer than he had in months, "there's nothing to do here but wait anyway. I'll call if something comes up."

No one objected, lost in their confusion and grief they trudged out, one at a time without passing a word to anyone. Jack watched them and realized a little too late exactly what a big part Ianto had been in their lives.

It was well passed lunch when everyone crawled into the hub, assaulted with the smell of something decaying deep in it's confines and suddenly they were on red alert, Tosh tapping away at keys trying to find the smell. Jack joined them when he heard the quick footsteps across the grate and when he came out of his hole he nearly gagged. "What the hell is that?"

Gwen glanced at him warily, "hoping it's not Ianto."

"It not." Owen perked up from the morgue, "human's don't decompose that quickly."

"They do if they're in a hot part of the hub." Tosh said almost sympathetic as she looked at the screen, "I didn't check the furnace."

"We have a furnace?" Jack was clearly confused.

She nodded, "Ianto keeps up with it so it's no wonder we hadn't a clue. In the scan I didn't even think about going that far, it's old and it covers up any heat signature in the room so it was pointless to even try."

Even before she was finished speaking, Jack, Gwen, and Owen were all running down the corridors of the hub; Gwen was chanting, "please god, no." over and over until one of them told her to shut up.

Jack burst through the door leading to the furnace and the woman behind him doubled over and wretched on the floor, Owen soon followed her. The captain fought against the nausea and only gagged a few times before shutting the door, "Tosh, is there any way you can shut the furnace down? It's too hot and we have to get in there to do clean up."

"Did you find him?"

"We don't know yet."

Twenty seven hours missing….

* * *

I...don't actually know where I'm going with this. I did but - now I'm kinda lost. So updates will be slower (hence the reason I'm called "slow as christmas").

Again, thank you all for the favorites/alerts and comments. I read them all even if I don't respond. I'm quite shy and am rather puzzled as to how to respond to them. But I do appreciate them!

Once again, I'm completely open to critique. I don't bite, really. If you think this is going a little off, someone's OOC, or it's just completely absurd - I welcome the critique with open arms.


	4. To Clean A Room

Owen gagged as he picked up the carcass of a dog and threw it into a trash bag, he then pressed his gloved hand to the wall and was slightly freaked out that something on the other side scratched just beneath his palm. "this room is disgusting. And since when did we have so many animals?"

Jack shrugged, "I wasn't aware we had any." He stood and glanced around the room, decayed bodies of what he assumed to be animals lay in heaps around the room, Owen had to identify each one as a species before they could dispose of it. Later, they would be destroyed with yet another alien device that zapped all organic matter into oblivion; but for now, it was a painstakingly slow project and with each new unidentifiable carcass there was a fear it could be human.

Tosh nearly threw up as she hefted a bag to the side and it sloshed with the contents, "how did they all get in here?"

"Maybe Ianto was keeping some pets." Gwen tried to sound chipper but it didn't quite come across as she gagged.

Jack was oddly quiet as he stood in the corner of the room, "is there something missing to you?"

All three perked at the question and looked around the room, "besides being one member less, no?" Owen peered at their leader then back down at all of the decayed bodies.

"Flies. Or rather, maggots." Gwen blinked at the realization then her head spun to Owen who was picking over the current victim. He shook his head in almost disbelief, "does this mean either something ate them, there weren't any flies in the hub, or…"

"They haven't been dead long enough to attract them."

Another silence, something that had been happening a lot recently, followed by Gwen asking, "any theories?"

Blue eyes looked at her through a mask before they flew down her covered form, "have you grown taller?"

All three employees looked at Jack a little confused and a lot miffed. Without answering, Gwen stomped from the room, Jack followed when he received death glares from the others. "Gwen," he called but she didn't stop, she stripped the hazmat suit and left it in a crumpled pile, once again, he followed her example and then jogged to keep up with her. He caught her arm and she turned, tears brimming her eyes and he took a quick breath in.

"How can you be so heartless." she murmured, "here we are, reeling from possibly losing Ianto and you're asking silly questions that you know the answer is that I'm wearing taller boots. It's like you didn't even care about him."

"That's not true - he was and still is part of the team -"

"Oh come off it Jack. What if it was me, how would you be acting then? If it's this way I'm not sure it's worth the time."

Jack stepped back as that thought hit him. He didn't even want to think of Gwen leaving him, and he had yet refused to entertain the idea that Ianto was truly gone. "Just because I don't cry," he regretted the words as he saw crystal tears spill down her cheeks, "doesn't mean I don't miss him. Someone has to take charge and stay level headed and I believe that spot is saved for me." He pulled her to him, wanting to ease away her pain but not knowing how.

"I don't want him to be gone." she whispered into his chest, "he's part of us. An important part of us and we all need him." Her fingers clenched into his shirt and he rested his chin on the top of her head. "Did you love him?" Jack was shocked at her bold question and refused to answer so she continued. "I.. I always knew that you and me… we had something. I don't know what you would call it, chemistry perhaps? I love Rhys," she corrected quickly, "but Jack, I know you can't die but… what if - one day you do? If we're falling apart over someone like Ianto," Jack felt the hair on the back of his neck bristle but he stayed silent, "what would we do if you…what would I do if you didn't come back?"

Jack wanted to ease her mind, wanted to comfort her, but he was still upset that she had implied Ianto wasn't as important as the others. He knew she hadn't meant it the way it sounded, knew her grief was speaking, her pain, her worry but he couldn't stop it. He could feel the anger in him rising and he attempted to squash but it was like taking a squirt gun to a wildfire, so he pulled away and bent to pick up his suit. "Don't be silly, I'll always come back." he sighed, part of him yelling for him to turn around, "you can take the day off if it's too much."

He heard the gasp, "Of course not." A nod and he shuffled into the hazmat suit and trotted slowly back to the furnace.

His mind still enraged with what Gwen had said and yet feeling sorry for her, part of him adored her, she didn't hero worship him like most everyone and perhaps that's why he had clung to Ianto. He had very clearly defied him, even stabbed him in the back to do something so…so human, deep down he knew the Welshman had acted out of deep love, something Gwen would do for Rhys without a second thought. Perhaps that's why when he attempted to choose one or the other, it was always muddled and he found that he couldn't separate them, something was always blocking him. Now, as he entered the doorway of the furnace room, he felt a prick of anxiety at the bodies being picked over and how some could have been human or just several large dogs stacked and decaying together.

"Jack," Owen's voice tempted him from his thoughts and he snapped his head to the side, "far as I can tell, these aren't human. Just animals… cats, dogs, rats, birds, the occasional reptile, things like that. Something's been feeding on them. And within the last day or two."

Jack let out a long sigh, "So another intruder, and it didn't tip the security. Tosh, you've really got to work on that." She nodded but otherwise didn't acknowledge him, fighting the urge to throw up and clean the mess off the floor was all she could do. He glanced around at his team, Gwen slipping in beside him, her gaze apologetic; he felt out of place, like he didn't belong or rather that something was terribly wrong. It was as though a piece was missing, a big piece that he wanted back more than anything he'd ever wanted before. He wondered if this is how Gwen and Ianto felt, if this was being human, willing to go through everything just to get back or keep that piece of you that made you feel. His fists clenched the bags in his hands and he let out a low growl, he vowed then in that dirty, gruesome, stinking room that he would get Ianto Jones back no matter the cost.

Thirty Four hours missing…

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Thank you all for the nice comments! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. -hugs to you all-

As usual, I have no beta and am just an amateur so any critique is welcome. Don't get me wrong in this chapter, I like Gwen but she kinda peed me off when she was flirtin with Jack yet Engaged to Rhys. So, I had to throw a little stab in there.


	5. To Reflect On Life

Ianto Jones wasn't sure when he had woken, he was just sure that he was in a lot of pain and he was completely blind. He was filled with momentary panic before his other senses kicked in and he heard a faint click or drip, he also smelled fish and chips which had his stomach growling before it lurched with another stab of pain. He attempted to feel around him with his hands but the action proved to be more trouble than it was worth because as soon as his fingers twitched it hurt like someone had chopped them off.

Slowly, he moved each finger and toe, the stabs of pain told him they were at least still there partially, and when he wiggled his ears he noticed the trickle of blood down the side of his cheek and realized he was apparently lying face down on something furry. He attempted to speak but his mouth was dry and caked with a substance that had long since hardened leaving him a small hole with which to breath. So, he was blind, speechless, couldn't move, and the only thing he seemed to be able to focus on was the fact that he hadn't cleaned the coffee pot with vinegar the night before. Or at least he hoped it was the night before, he wasn't entirely sure how long he had been out.

He sighed, attempting to think of what had happened just before he arrived at his current position. The last thing he remembered was talking to Gwen in the archives and unless she had attacked him when he turned around, he wasn't sure how he ended up here. Something moved and he heard it shuffle before skittering off in the distance, suddenly, the many things he had heard over the years from dead bodies came rushing back to him. There's nothing… could that mean the blindness? And something moving in the dark? He shuddered and his entire body screamed at him to stop, which he promptly retorted inwardly that he's not the one in control at that moment and then stopped himself from going crazy enough to talk to his own body. It was a very probable outcome that he had died and he had lost all memory of the event and was now just sitting, or rather, lying on his stomach listening to something moving with a soft rustle somewhere in the darkness that had enveloped him.

He closed his unseeing eyes to rest yet he wouldn't slip into that blissful state of unconsciousness, instead he was left to ponder exactly what was in the area around him and how long would it be until he was eaten or tortured. He thought about Lisa, the way her hair was so soft right after a shower and how easily it slipped through his hands, how Jack had helped him move through the depression of losing her. He had never once told Ianto to move on, to forget her; but, told him to remember and never forget her, to keep her close but not stop moving forward. That if you stopped to look back, you wouldn't see the miracle around the next corner. How he wished for Jack's presence at that moment, to hear that voice tell him he was being weak and that as a Torchwood agent he should be used to waking up in a strange place. And yet, he felt the warm trickle across his nose and realized he was crying, not because it hurt or he had reached a point where it was all too much to bare; but because if this was the end, he wouldn't see Jack. He wouldn't be able to tell the man the words he had denied him, wouldn't be able to kiss him one last time. He also knew Jack would be guilty, guilty because after spending the night with that whore of a woman, Ianto was most likely gone and there hadn't been that finality to it all. There hadn't been the calm before the storm, just one day there, the other gone. He wouldn't wish that on his lover and he almost hoped Gwen would be some comfort, the twinge of jealousy and defeat rushed over him a little more than he cared to admit.

Gwen, with her doe eyes and heart on her sleeve, her curvy hips and smart mouth, all things Jack had admired about her and all things Ianto had, at one time, despised her for having. All the little glances, all the touches, brushes of hands and fingertips, the way Jack would smell her hair when he was leaning over her desk… all pointed to the fact that they were pulled to each other. But Jack would never act on it, Gwen was more than a lover, he respected her more than that and Ianto was jealous of it. He had been a pity fuck that just became the norm, a broken shell of a man that the other wanted to piece back together. A project to pass the time. He wouldn't lie to himself, there would be some tears over his death but Jack wasn't known to mourn over a lovers demise, tears yes but he'd never be mentioned again. Maybe there was a picture the other man would take out and smile fondly over before flipping to another, smiling, flipping; until the pictures were gone and he'd stuff them back in the worn box and then into the secret compartment in the third drawer. A box of passed loves that had made the sleepless nights fun, but once the picture was gone, he'd be forgotten.

Ianto felt a sob tear from his throat, harsh and he coughed the dried bits in his mouth out onto the floor, his teeth crunching the hard pieces like shrapnel in his mouth and he felt himself choking as he took another deep breath. He went on like that for several moments before his saliva began working and he felt some of the bits dissolve, revealing the substance in his mouth to be dried blood. As bad as the thought was, he hoped it was mostly his own, the mere image of ingesting possible alien blood nearly made him gag if he had the energy. He wanted to reach out, feel whatever he was lying on in hopes that he could garner some thought as to where he was, but the act of coughing up his own blood made him physically and mentally exhausted. Somewhere, deep down, he was a little worried and more than a little on the losing it side; he wasn't used to this part of the job. He had only signed on to be a tea boy, a butler, nothing more than that and yet Jack had pushed him into a more active roll after Lisa. He had told him it was so he would feel more included but even then Ianto knew it was an offensive measure, you were less likely to betray someone if you were close to them. They didn't want another cyber man in the basement scare.

Damage control. Even then the thought made the welsh wince, that's all he was to Jack, he wasn't an idiot who thought he would be the soul mate of the immortal Harkness. He wasn't some sniveling girl that was going to fawn after a man and go crying in a corner when he felt a little under the weather; he was a torchwood employee for god's sake. And it was time he started acting like one. He gritted his teeth through the blood and pushed a palm to the furry floor, his hand slipping on something sticky as he did so and he forced himself to think of it logically. He reached out his fingers and felt something slick, smooth and hard, he followed it despite the feeling of nausea coming over him, he was almost glad he was blind. He pushed away the fact that being blind could be a permanent ailment and even further disrupt the flow of the team as well as the flow of his and Jacks….thing. Couldn't exactly call it a relationship, he mused before shaking his head and focusing on the task. Whatever it was he had been feeling was curved and ended in a slightly round point, he moved back down tracing previous fingerprints only to meet the floor so he pushed his fingers against the fur and pulled the object further up to reach around it only to feel the clearly evident spine. He pulled away as though burned and recoiled into himself, deciding that being an investigative torchwood consultant could wait until after a quick nap. Almost instantly, he gave into the unconsciousness tugging at the back of his mind.

Forty - Two hours missing….

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I missed Ianto so I had to write this chapter about him. It's getting harder to write this as I'm really wanting Ianto and Jack back together but it just doesn't seem right.

This chapter was boring, and I'm sorry. It had no action, nothing - just Ianto thinking. And I'm sorry.

If you feel I could change something to make it better please tell me and I'll try my best. I don't mind you pointing stuff out, really I don't. Be it grammer mistakes, characters mistakes, plot loops that seem out there, I don't mind AT ALL.

Also, this story IS rated "M" and in later chapters will live up to that rating for more than just curse words and violence. Just a warning ^/^

Random Quote: "well, I have a Banana and in a pinch you could build some shelves."

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